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I have committed the last 2 years of my life unabashedly pursuing my dreams
This has led me to a powerful relationship, leaving the US, starting a business where I get to work with clients I absolutely adore, and a new version of myself.
Not to mention EVERYTHING I learned (seriously, this was like college part 2 for me)
As I write this, I am sitting in my beach front house (it has always been a dream of mine to live on the beach so I decided to rent one out for a few months) where I spent the morning soaking in the sun and salty air. My dog and I played on the shore and I pet her damp sandy fur as I watched dozens of fishers drift off to sea
And…. My brain could only focus on the things that I wasn’t doing and the things I needed to do.
I thought about all of the work tasks on my to do list. I thought of my continual improvement as a coach and how I could impact my clients better. I thought about how this month wasn’t my most productive month in business (I took three personal trips and had a TON of private client work). I thought about how what I was doing wasn’t enough. Luckily part of myself knew all of these intrusive thoughts were a damn lie.
Isn’t it funny how our mind can play these games with us? When I noticed these thoughts drifting in I gave myself permission to laugh at myself. I gave myself permission to admit to myself that I was pushing myself too hard and that that is not where my best work comes from.
My best work comes from being in the flow, from taking action and being fully present, from giving myself permission to be imperfect and ever-growing.
Past me would have gotten stuck in the overthinking stage, paralyzed by the sheer overwhelmingness of life and unable to crawl out from the weight of expectation enough to move forward. If that resonates with you, here are some tips.
Tip #1 Give yourself permission to feel safe (and take action towards safety).
There have been moments these past 2 years where I barely had a dollar to my name and yet a part of me knew that the sacrifices I was making would pay off exponentially.
So why is it that I allowed myself to believe my doubt and fear instead of my inner knowing (self confidence, self trust, and self belief) that I was going to be okay? It’s because even though I always knew I was going to be okay, a part of me was (rightfully) terrified.
The work was in understanding the doubt that part of me held and giving that part permission to feel that doubt.
Now, exploring anxiety requires boundaries with yourself. You can feel a difficult emotion and not have that translate into destructive action for you, your business, or your job. For me this looked like sitting in the anxiety and seeing if there are any actions I could easily take to feel better. Today this looked like going for a walk and listening to music.
Tip #2 Get support from people who get it
If you’re doing incredibly new and challenging things, you need an incredible support team.
Let me repeat that for those in the back:
If you’re doing incredible, new, and challenging things, you need an incredible support team.
You have to hold yourself accountable in the relationships you receive by prioritizing the people and pets that support this next level version of you. That means creating boundaries (physical and emotional) between yourself and people who only appreciate a stunted version of you. You know the version of you I’m talking about. The one who is constantly people pleasing and living their life for someone else.
When I work with my clients, I play the role of a guide in this support team. Working with me means you have me as an experienced mentor who understands exactly where most people fail in starting their business and how to push past any challenge you may face in reaching your next level. Working with me means someone is going to be looking at you as if you’re already that next level, liberated, version of you. This is particularly powerful because I know first hand how challenging it can be to find a radical rebel support system that sees your future brilliance, believes in that version of you, and has the business, liberation, and relational expertise necessary to make that version of you a reality. If you're feeling a little curious about how your life could be transformed with coaching, I recommend starting here.
Today what helped me reground was a conversation with my Dad who ALWAYS is there for me when I start getting in my own head and always reflects back the version of me that I aspire to be. On the way back from my walk I gave him a quick call to just hear his voice and be reminded of where I was going. From there, I looked at the strategy and plans that my coach created for me and felt ready to get back to work.
Tip #3: Presence
Allow yourself to be fully present to be fully here to be fully in this moment right now. This means focusing on what actions, decisions, and behaviors will help you most in this exact moment and executing on them not based on some anxiety that past or future you may hold.
My presence practice has evolved DRAMATICALLY as I’ve built my business and continues to grow as I face new challenges and hurdles. It looks like bringing attention to the thoughts and emotions I’m having and consciously deciding if that is the energy I want (and sometimes need) to bring to the table at any given moment.
These things have helped me ground time and time again AND it is worth experimenting with yourself when you experience Joy. Notice what emotions come up. Notice if a part of you is afraid of losing that joy. Play around with different methods to ground yourself and see how you transform in time.
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